Thursday, April 13, 2017

New Event For American Ninja

I'm currently staying at a rental house until our place back home sells and we can buy a new place.  There are a couple of things to like about the rental.  First, it is located directly on Detroit Lake, which makes for a great location for a walk or a run.  Second, it is within walking distance of two of Detroit Lake's most famous bars.

It was one evening after spending time at one of those establishments when I returned home to the rental house.  One of the nice things about the house is that it has an automatic lock on the front door - just punch in the code, and you're in.  No need for any pesky keys.

As I arrived I opened the screen and punched in the code.  Instead of being met with the flashing green light and sound of the door opening, I was instead met with a flashing red light and a loud BEEP BEEP BEEP.  No worries, I must have fat fingered the code, so I tried again.  BEEP BEEP BEEP.

OK, this isn't that hard.  The code was impossible to forget, and it knew it was correct.  All I needed to do was go slow.  BEEP BEEP BEEP.

Oh, crap.  It's now 10PM, I have no key, and the door is locking me out.  Houston, we have a problem.

I decided to check the other doors to see if I could possibly catch a break.  Unfortunately, both the garage door and the deck door were locked.

Come on!  It can't be this hard!  Just type in the code slow!  BEEP BEEP BEEP.

OK, there's a boarder that lives downstairs in a mother-in-law apartment.  I guess I need to wake him up.  Well, the beers he enjoyed during the hockey game must have worked as he never stirred to repeated doorbell rings and pounding on his window.

Now what?  I could sleep in my car, or perhaps head to a hotel.  However, I didn't have a change of clothes, and didn't want to show up at my new job in what I wore yesterday.  That'd get folks talking...

One more try...BEEP BEEP BEEP

Maybe, just maybe, there might be a window that would open.  I went back to the deck, as I vaguely remembered thinking that the kitchen sink window was open when I noticed it doing dishes one night.  I climbed the deck, and was pleased to find that the window had no screen.  Whew - break #1.  I then leaned over the railing and tried to push the window open.  Lo and behold, break #2.

Now the bad news - the window was not over the deck.  In fact, I'd need to shimmy on a narrow and weak-looking railing and then try to fit through a very small window.  If I fell, or the railing broke, I'd likely break something, and given the Coors Light the downstairs boarder was sleeping off, I wouldn't been found until much later the next day.  

The stakes were high, but it was a risk I needed to take.  I hiked my way onto the railing, eventually got a death-grip on the kitchen faucet, and hauled my fat butt through the window.

For perspective, here's what I accomplished entering:

I put my size 11.5 shoe on the ledge for scale.  It was a very tight fit.

I now carry physical keys with me every time I go out, even though the door appears to be working just fine now.  I also will be submitting this as a new event to American Ninjas.  

Don't try this at home, kids.

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