Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Top 10 Music Acts I Just Can't Stand

I need to start this post off with an apology.  I'm likely going to tick a couple people off with this update.  However, what I present here is just my opinion.  And you know what they say about opinions...

As big of a music fan that I am, there are definitely some bands/artists that just rub me the wrong way, and regardless of how I try, I simply cannot enjoy their music.  It's not necessarily genre-based - I have likes in every genre, even if they are few and far in between in genres like rap and pop.  It's really hard to pin down - it's almost at the artist level, and each of them have rubbed me the wrong way for some reason or the other. 

Hence, I thought it worthy of analysis to review the top 10 popular music acts that I just can't stomach.  I've ranked them in relative order of worldwide records sold, starting low to high. 

10) Barenaked Ladies - I don't like campy or cute, and it seems like everything that this groups has done that's gained success has way, way crossed that line.  If I Had $1,000,000 is near torture.  Their library may be filled with things of other substance, but I can't endure getting past their popular crap to deal with it. 

9) Jack Johnson - He's on of those artist where it seems that every song sounds exactly like the other - the minute a Jack Johnson song hits the radio, you KNOW it is a Jack Johnson song.  Bubble Toes remains one of the worst songs written.  Ever. 

8) Alanis Morissette - I have to admit that I was taken the first time I heard You Ought to Know.  It was raw, emotional, and edgy.  But Alanis soon became completely overexposed, and the depth that You Ought to Know promised was revealed to be a mirage.  She earned bonus loathe points with me by penning the song Ironic that has absolutely nothing to do with irony.  She made a mint off of it, and helped hundreds of thousands of teenagers (and ultimately adults) misuse the meaning of the word "irony" every since.   

7) The Guess Who - This group has numerous hits.  And I hate every one worse than the other.  Special hate points go out to Undone and These Eyes.  Torture. 

6) Janice Joplin - I probably am doing Janice a disservice as I really should dig into her deeper body of work.  I just can't get past the Pearl album, and I can't get past the mythology that has been created around her.  Had I live through the '60's, I'm quite sure that I would feel very differently about her and her music.  But for me, I just cannot find a way to dig her.  Not at all. 

5) Katy Perry - I think I said all I need to say about Ms. Perry right here 

4) Dave Matthews Band - Unique sound.  Innovative, if not brilliant, musician.  Massive body of original work. And for whatever reason, I don't like any of it.  Occasionally he'll produce a song that resonates with me, and I'll put in into rotation.  Last one to hit me was The Space BetweenHowever, by less than 10 listens, I just can't take any more, and I'll delete it off of the hard drive.  I want to like him as I respect him as an artist.  But for my ear, I just can't handle him. 

3) Pearl Jam - I have mixed feelings on this band.  Nearly everything they've done has been a total miss with me.  But then I absolutely love State of Love and Trust.  But then some of what they've done has been complete crap, like Last Kiss (would Nirvana or Alice in Chains, both "peers" of this band, ever done anything like that?  No way).  And everything in the middle does nothing for me.  Throw in their political activism, and I've got very little time for this band.  This band would also easily make my Top 10 "Shut Up and Sing" list.

2)  Neil Diamond - Has experienced a career resurgence thanks to stadium music programmers everywhere.  I don't like one of his songs.  Not one.  Especially

1) Simon and Garfunkel - If I can go a couple years without hearing them, I really enjoy a listen to The Sound of Silence or The Boxer.  But it's like an Orange Crush.  You remember it tasting a hell of a lot better than it really tastes.  And more than one in a half decade is too much.  As for the remainder of their catalog, it is like fingernails across the chalkboard. I am a Rock, Cecilia, and My Little Town turn my stomach. 

So there you have it music fans.  These are very successful acts (some Hall of Fame acts), I'm a huge music fan, but yet there's a disconnect. 

Maybe it's not them, it's me.     

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