I have spent a lot of time lately trying to figure out my role in this life. My perspective ebbs and flows, and I reach multiple conclusions. One conclusion that I'm reaching is my lack of fulfillment with my work.
Don't get me wrong - I do very much enjoy my job. I recognize that I'm very fortunate to be doing what I do, and I likewise recognize that I'm having direct impact on my company, team, and our futures. My work matters, and it is meaningful.
However, it also feels hollow. While it matters, does it really matter? Am I making a significant difference in this world, or am I just punching the time clock and getting by?
I'd suggest I do more of the latter.
I was ushering at Easter mass last Sunday when I got hit by a lightning bolt. I've always admired our Eucharistic ministers, and have felt a huge sense of responsibility when serving the Host to others in those rare instances when my usher duties called me to do so. Likewise, I've had the misfortune to be hospitalized on a couple of occasions, and found it so comforting to have someone visit me and provide me with Communion.
Thus, I think really want to be an Eucharistic minister at a hospital. That's how I'd like to play out my retirement years. It'd be hard from an emotional standpoint, but there's no question that it would be making a difference.
Oh, sure, there are a million other things I could do that would make a bigger difference, I get it. But this one just feels like me.
I can't wait to grow up.