Monday, November 30, 2009

Tiger Woods Improves His Lie

The Tiger Woods story continues to catch fire. Unfortunately, Tiger's official statement only makes things worse, and not better.

According to the highest paid athlete in human history:

This is a private matter and I want to keep it that way. Although I understand there is curiosity, the many false, unfounded and malicious rumors that are currently circulating about my family and me are irresponsible.

Three big things here. 1) That billion bucks you got in the bank, Mr. Icewater-in-his-veins? Yeah, that billion. That’s the money that the public gave you, and you rapidly accepted, which no longer affords you any privacy. You are a public figure, and a damn well-paid one at that. Time to put your man pants on and suck it up.

2) – A buddy on Facebook wrote today that this was the only time he could ever accurately say that he had a better weekend than Tiger Woods. True, indeed.

3) – If South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford coined the latest great euphemism for infidelity (“hiking the Appalachian trail”), what could be the excuse that Tiger could use? Here are some thoughts:

“Playing a provisional”

“Teeing off from the tips”

“Improving his lie”

“Leaving a ball mark”

Please post up with any others…


  1. I usually agree with you on most things you write. On this one… I don’t. Why does it really matter what issues Tiger has with his wife. People love him for his golf score, not how he “scores” of the course. I strongly disagree with his potential extra curricular “trips to the bar cart” or “taking a free swing” every now and then, but what he does on his own time is his business – even if it’s scummy. Do you think he really cares about what everyone thinks? After you have a Billion in the bank, you really don’t need the endorsements anymore.

    Honestly….. Should this even be in the news with all the tragedy and heart ache in the world? Who cares... he had a big fight, got into a car accident, he bumped his head or his wife gave him a “what for” slap with a two iron. If he was driving impaired or killed someone… that could be a different story. But to grab his medical records to see if they should file domestic abuse case against his wife - that’s a stretch.

    I am glad I don’t live in fishbowl. I am also glad I like playing the same course over and over and over again.

  2. Stong points, plus some excellent euphemisms.

    Thanks for the comments.


Please feel free to include any thoughts you may have. Know, however, that kiddos might be reading this, so please keep the adult language to yourself. I know, for me to ask that language is clean is a stretch...