Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Top 10 Things I Learned Pheasant Hunting this Weekend

The Yellow Dog Patrol made its annual trek east to the bountiful Illinois hunting grounds this past weekend. 7 of my buddies went, and we hunted with a number of other friends and family of our generous host.

For the weekend, as usual, we wanted for nothing - the food was impeccable, the beer fridge constantly stocked, the ammunition plentiful, the birds unbelievable, and the laughs ceaseless.

Despite knowing these guys for the past 25 years, I learned some things from them this past weekend that I'd like to impart to posterity:

10) Naming your dog the same thing as one of your hunting buddies does nothing to ease the confusion of the "fog of war" when faced with a massive flight of inbound birds

9) "Eddie" is absolutely the best name one could choose if your dog's breed is a Munsterlander. Followed only by "Herman" and "Grandpa."

8) If you wear a coat inside for most of the day, expect people to ask if you're cold at least twice.

7) Two-fisting gin and scotch can lead to a beautiful green complexion the next day. And the day after that...

6) Witty banter is a lot less frequent during breakfast for some reason

5) When someone wakes up at five o'clock and is joined by someone else, consider the whole house awake within a half hour (except for Tommy)

4) Despite missing some members, the sound of their miracle shot of two years prior still echoed thick in the air like a blanket over Michael Jackson's kid's head

3) Even though one may miss out on hunting by spending the weekend on the couch, one makes up for it by conversing with listening to the cook talk for countless hours, mentally keeping a bird tally based on shots heard fired so that ome can win the bird harvest bet, and acquiring a really great new recipe for a scrumptious pheasant pate

2) The generosity of our host leaves me in awed appreciation. Thank you, Dr. Bill.

1) I have great friends. I guess I already knew that, though.

I can't wait to do it all again soon.Thanks for taking the time to rehash a ton of old memories and make some new ones. You guys are the best.

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