Sunday, December 4, 2016

Perspectives from Confession

For me, going to confession is like going for a long, long run when I haven't in a while.  I hate the thought of going through it, yet I know it is something that I really need to do.  And afterwards, when it is all over, I feel so much better and wonder why I had been putting off going for so long.

Our parish just started with Tuesday night mass, and since Tuesdays are my worst work days, it has been a blessing.  Knowing that I'll be able to leave at a designated time to get there, take the eucharist and finish a usually horrific day on a high note helps not only get through the day, but through the week.  

As part of the Tuesday evening events, our priest started hearing confessions ahead of mass.  Since it had been over a year from my last reconciliation, I was way overdue.  

I carry my sin hard.  Every slight, wrong, and thing I've done weighs on me.  I go over and over it in my head, often to the point of beating myself up.  As I was wading through my litany of sins with my priest, he must have picked up on it, as for my penance I received three Hail Marys, and to meditate on seeing myself as God sees me.


Do we ever do that?  Do we ever stand back and look at ourselves the way that God looks at us?  If we ever did, I know we'd treat ourselves a heck of a lot better.  

God absolutely and unequivocally loves us.  At our highest or lowest, it matters not.  He just loves us.  So, then, if God can unfailingly love the imperfect, failing, bumbling, stupid version of us, why shouldn't we?  And if we can't get all the way there, perhaps we could start with cutting ourselves a little slack.  

I need to go to confession more often.      

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Please feel free to include any thoughts you may have. Know, however, that kiddos might be reading this, so please keep the adult language to yourself. I know, for me to ask that language is clean is a stretch...