Fuzzy's Turkey

Last weekend Fuzzy and I went to the duck camp and tried our hand at hunting the elusive wild turkey.  While our property has pretty much always held turkeys, they've been damned hard to hunt.  In about ten years of hunting them, we've only bagged one, and got shots at two.

We opted for a new strategy this year.  Unlike in years past where we separated to cover more ground, we just ended up texting each other most of the day, so this year we opted to cut to the chase and I bought us a ground blind.  That way we could just talk to each other, because we don't do that enough.

Here's are the new digs in action:

We got into the blind at some stupid hour of the morning; well ahead of the woods waking up.  Our early stealth paid off, as we heard one and likely three toms gobbling on the roost behind us to the north about 150 yards.  They gobbled great on the roost, but about fly down time, they clammed up.

I started calling about then, doing my best to sound like a hen in dire need of a hot date.  We had a decoy placed out front of us strategically at about 25 yards, and well in the open to be within clear view of any hot tom.

I kept up the calling about every ten minutes or so, but never got any kind of response.  Our fear is that the turkeys headed off the north and away from us, and that they likely couldn't even hear me anymore.

Then, about 8:30 we were greeted by a seemingly random gobble about 100 yards behind us.  I replied with a call, and got nothing in return.  About five minutes later he gobbled from about the same location, and I immediately called back to him, which elicited a response gobble.  Then he got quiet again.

About three minutes later we were looking both north and south, then I happened to turn Fuzzy's way and look out the west window.  There was the tom.  How he closed that much ground was a mystery to me, but there he was, all puffed up and looking for love.  "Fuzzy, look to your right," I whispered.  "Holy shit!" Fuzzy replied.

I encouraged him to get his gun and go for a shot, but there is no way that Fuzzy could have got his gun up and out the window without getting busted.  We opted to just sit there and see what would happen.

Our Romeo had definitely seen our decoy (hence the puff-up), but he was getting the cold shoulder. Hence, he started a mosey to try and get her attention.  That afforded Fuzzy to get an opportunity to get the gun up and out the front window.  Unfortunately, Fuzz was off balance, and mid-aim asked "Hold me up!"  Like any good coach in this situation, I responded with motivation via a "Shoot the son of a bitch!" command.  

Fuzzy did as he was told and rolled our bird with one sporty shot.  He even waited for Mr. Romance to make his way a little away from my decoy so that it wouldn't take any stray shot.  Here are the results:

Our boy turned out to be a hoss, weighing in at a full 22+ pounds.  While ugly, they are also gloriously beautiful as well, especially in the sun:

My hunt day the following day yielded nary a gobble.  We had a hen check out our decoy, as well as a couple of deer, but it was obvious that the word in the woods was that a couple of turkey hit men were loose in the woods, and the toms steered clear.  Regardless, that was one of the funnest hunts I've ever been on, and I can't wait to do it again next year.

Best Golf Trick Shots

Spring is finally here in the Midwest, so that means time for golf, and that means time for some golf trick shots:

Got a favorite?  Personally, I like the club all the way around the body the best, but all of them are pretty amazing.  

The Twinge

I got contacted by a recruiter yesterday; one that I've worked with in the past and has good familiarity with me and my capabilities.  The role is a VP gig, reporting to the CEO.  It'd own the entire B to C P&L, and would be responsible for a team of 30.  In doing some quick research on the company, there are a dozen things I identified that I could start working on tomorrow to improve performance.  It's owned by private equity, and there'd be a chance for a big pay day.  It'd pay twice what I'm making now.  It fit within the confines of my current non-compete.

Now the buts:

But I'm happy for the first time in a long time

But it is in Salt Lake City (don't get me started)

But I really like getting into the shower at 7:00, getting to work at 7:45, and leaving no later than 5:30

But I really like smiling and laughing again. 

But I'm going to try and buy a house on the lake and grab summer and hold it by the throat like I haven't since I was a little kid.

But I'm finally close to family and friends again

But I'm again going to sleep without drinking, and sleeping through the night

So what in the world am I thinking?  Simple.  It's ego.  I like being an executive in a big company.  I like the title, the pay, and the perks, and I like to prove folks wrong about me.  From that perspective, I'd really, really like to take a run at the opportunity.

Thankfully, the logical part of me is smarter than the ego part of me.

Finally.

Texas Teacher Abuse Crisis

And don't kid yourself; it's a crisis.  In a recent article about yet another arrest of a teacher for multiple counts of sexual impropriety with multiple students, Breitbart offers these shocking statistics:

No doubt, teachers crossing the line sexually with students continue to plague Texas classrooms. DeEtta Culbertson, Texas Education Agency (TEA) spokeswoman, told Breitbart Texas the agency opened 159 of these cases between September 1, 2016, and March 31, 2017.

By comparison, the TEA opened 123 cases during the entire 2008-09 academic year. These numbers rose steadily over the years: 2009-10, 141 cases; 2010-11, 152; 2011-12, 156; 2012-13, 163; and 2013-14, 179. In 2014-15, the TEA accounted for a disconcerting 188 instances, which lead Senate Education Committee members to meet and seek policy solutions plus assess the role of social media in fostering this troubling educator behavior.


The 2015-16 school year, though, marked an all-time high of 222 cases, Breitbart Texas reported. So startling the numbers, the TEA asked state lawmakers to fund nearly $400,000 in their 2018-19 academic budget for hiring two investigators and one administrator to better tackle the problem.

A couple of thoughts:

• You might turn up your nose at me for quoting Breitbart.  Fine.  Then ask yourself why these facts are being ignored by other news outlets.
• Over 1,000 cases of abuse in the past ten years in Texas alone.  What would be the coverage if such activity were being conducted by the Catholic church?
• Pedophiles go to where the kids are, folks.  The kids are in school.

Washington Post Reporter and I Move to Northern Minnesota...

Check out this story:


You can read more on the story here

While I'm not in as small a community as the family featured here, I am in a small town.  I can't go anywhere without bumping into someone that I know.  As I become more integrated into the town via church and other aspects, it will only get worse.

And I love it.

People here are genuinely nice.  What our reporter found, I've found as well.  They're proud of this area (rightfully so!) and they want to share it.  The smiles here are everywhere.  The pace here is comfortable.  The activities here are boundless, you just need to look differently to find them.

I've lived in Minnesota most of my life, and I'm finally understanding the meaning of "Minnesota Nice."  It's dripping up here.

If Mrs. YDP loves it as much as I do, we're in for a very happy life.

Volvo Truck Driven By Little Girl

Pretty effective way to show that Volvo trucks can take a beating.

Even one dished out by a little girl:

Saturday Song Share: The Suburbs - Music for Boys

From 1981, at the height of their powers.  Not sure how they never made it - have to believe a lot of drugs were involved, or maybe they were a couple of years ahead of their time. But still, this was one damn fine band.  

KFC Zinger Commercial

Rob Lowe does his best Colonel Sanders / Jack Kennedy mashup in the next iteration of KFC's rotating Colonels campaign.

This might be their best installment, yet.  And I love that Lowe's voice treatment is equal parts Harland Sanders, JFK, and Rob Lowe.

Outstanding: