Beware "The Vulcan of Justice"

A Prescription to 2010 Depression

After a crappy 2009, 2010 isn't starting any better. The economy remains in shambles. Our elected officials are absolutely clueless, regardless of their affiliation. We narrowly miss hundreds of our citizens being killed in a terrorist plot. It is depressingly cold. Hunting season is over. The Minnesota Wild stink. Christmas bills are coming due.

So what?




Ah, Rodney. I feel better already.

A Dog Named Blitz - Chapter Three: "Puppy Troubles" Part 5

For background on this serial, please click here. You can also start at the previous section


The first bad habit that Blitz exhibited on "walkies" was the habit of injuring my wife. While the dog never meant anything malicious, many times when out on a walk together Blitz would do something that would ultimately leave my wife on the ground. Most times it was the dog getting the leash wrapped around Vera's legs, but there were other episodes as well - things like pulling too hard when running down a hill, pulling too hard on ice - when it came to putting my wife on the ground, Blitz was quite creative.

Quite often the two of them would arrive home after talking a walk - one rambunctious and happy to see me, the other scraped and haggard, swearing to never take the dog on another walk.

While I sometimes joined Vera and Blitz on their walks, Vera usually did them as part of her exercise routine, and was often gone for 45 minutes to an hour. I like my exercise to be more active, so these walks were never all that appealing to me. I should also note that my wife is cold-blooded, so the more humid and hot the day, the more she loved it. She often walked when mad dogs and Englishmen were the only ones to stray outside, and my opt out in these conditions was usually assumed.

It wasn't always easy for Blitz, though, and she was at times enlisted for these tropical tromps. Hauling around under a blazing sun in that fur coat was tough on a little yellow lab, and Blitz employed techniques to manage the length of the walk on these hot days. First, she started to lag behind, a place where she never spent any time (unless she was trying to get a good smell on something you happened to be walking past). If that didn't provide my wife with the necessary hint that it was time to turn around, Blitz simply sat down, right there in the middle of the of the sidewalk as if to say, "That's it, mom, I'm not going a step further." This technique always brought about some sympathetic petting and a reverse in course, and the amazingly near-death dog would miraculously rejuvenate and would again be her old self on the way home.

While Blitz was always friendly to everyone she'd meet on her route, she did have a protective steak when she and Vera walked alone. With men that were met on the walk, Blitz always found a way to stay between them and my wife and would operate in a very protective mode. Women were fine. Kids were fine. But if you were a guy, you were only going to get so close. That made me feel very comfortable when they walked alone, although I often had to play M.A.S.H. unit on knees or elbows upon their return due to leash trips.

The second bad habit Blitz had was her insane infatuation with critters. Just about any kind of small animal would make her completely insane, but she saved her most irrational behavior for rabbits and chipmunks. I guess I shouldn't have been too surprised by this trait, as her behavior with the cat pretty much foretold of a dog that wanted to play with her smaller animal brethren.

Ever since we first brought her home, she had this craze. The first I encountered it came during her pre-meal trip outside. As part of our routine, upon rising or arriving home, I first let the dog outside to relieve herself, then she ate, then we went for "walkies" or a poop-sprint, depending on the situation. One beautiful early morning Blitz was in the back yard taking care of some business before breakfast when out of nowhere this fat robin comes out of the sky and lands right beside her. Blitz must have thought that the bird was some kind of retrieve toy, because in one fell swoop the bird was scooped up, settled in her mouth and was being quickly transported back to me via the Yellow Dog Express.

That sprint across the back yard felt like it lasted forever for me, as the whole time I'm standing there in my robe, looking at one very happy little dog and one very much alive and very scared fat robin, and wondering what I'm going to do when the dog finally comes to me. About ten yards away from me the robin must have found the eject button, because all at once he was free and on flying at a dead sprint for safer confines. Given his speed and trajectory, I figure he probably made Mexican airspace sometime that evening.

Despite our run-ins with birds, mice, and deer droppings, Blitz saved her best antics for her encounters with bunnies.
To go to the next chapter, click here

Christmas Gift from My Team

My team went out and created a bobblehead of yours truly as a Christmas gift. It's a good likeness, except the bobblehead is skinnier. Something to aspire to, I guess.

I thought it a cool gift, but then came the Photoshop:

I wonder what they're trying to tell me...

Food Stamp Usage Soars

Check out the interactive map. The numbers here are beyond astonishing, and things are way, way worse than what you're being led to believe.

One in four kids. In America.

When can we expect some accountability on fixing the economy? How bad does it need to get?

God help us.

YellowDogPatrol.com - A Year in Review

I launched this blog on March 29, 2009 and thus far it has really been a labor of love for me. I enjoy the diverse writing I’m able to do (even thought I take shots about my haiku work), the platform it provides me to rant and vent, and the arena in which to mix it up with folks now and again (especially when it comes to our opinions on the esteemed Senator Al Franken).

Here are a couple of quick facts on the blog over the 2009 calendar year:

• Total posts made were 192, with Politics being the majority topic, but with 30 widely aggregated topics being covered.
• The blog has been visited by 2,552 visitors across 35 countries. The US makes up an obvious majority at 2,404 visits, but there are lots of surprises like Brazil (24 visits), Pakistan (3 visits), and Macedonia (1 visit).
• The blog has also been visited by 47 states (including DC). Given the subject matter, Minnesota makes up the majority at 1,224 visits. There were also a good followings in California, Iowa, New York, North Carolina, Virginia, and Wisconsin. States without a visitor were Alaska, West Virginia, Alabama, and Maine. Yes, the site had visits from Hawaii (2 visits), Delaware (1 visit) and Rhode Island (1 visit) this past year.
• 27% of site traffic has been generated by search engines, with Google driving a vast majority of those visits.
• About 25% of site traffic came from links on other sites.
• Visitors spent an average of 2 minutes and 24 seconds on the site per visit.
  Mac users represented 8% of site visits, and over 2% of visits came via the iPhone. One visitor came to the site via the Playstation 3.

It has been a really fun year in blogging, and I appreciate the feedback and support that I’ve received. I look forward to conversing with you all in 2010.

2010 Resolutions

What would the new year be without some personal resolutions? While they may mean absolutely nothing to the readership of this blog, getting them down in a written (and reference-able format) will hopefully keep my feet to the fire.

Here we go:

• Lose 20 Pounds (and keep it off) - I was actually making some pretty good progress on this until the holidays hit. With an impending vacation in the Bahamas later in February, I really need to knock this out quickly. It is bad enough being pasty-white, but fat and pasty-white really is a really off-putting combination.
• Minimum of 1 Hour of Physical Activity Daily - Again, I have a good head start on this with my activity to this point, and despite the weight, I'm physically in OK shape. I just need that little bit of dedication to make this happen every day and take my conditioning to a new level.
• Minimum of 10 Minutes of "Centering" Daily - As part of our new initiative at work, I've been introduced to a "sitting practice" that has me meditating for a 10 minute stretch. I find it does wonders for my stress level and in keeping me on a more even emotional keel, and I've also witnessed how Eastern practices have helped my sister (in her case, yoga). Again, I need some dedication to ensure this is done daily so that I can take things to the next plateau.
• Get My Professional Life on More Firm Footing - I have a number of initiatives that I'm leveraging to shore up my professional standing. I need to get back to driving my career, as opposed to having it drive me.
• Making Dedicated Contact - Over the past 15 years my world has gotten smaller. Back when we were first married I was much more social and had a lot more friends. I know that this is something that happens to all of us as we hit middle age, but I feel that's a bit of an excuse and that my world is just too damn small. With resources like Facebook, LinkedIn, and others, there is absolutely no reason why I can't be more overt in reaching out to friends, family and colleagues alike in a more structured fashion. I feel stupid when the only time I see some people that mean a lot to me is when somebody dies.
• Smiling and Laughing More - I think the lack of many things listed above have contributed to a more melancholy me. Hopefully the natural result of taking care of some of these things results in me getting back to who I once was.

Wish me luck, and good luck to you as well on your areas for improvement.

Here's to good things in 2010.

Happy 2010 to Us All

I stayed up until midnight to make sure the past year was completely killed off and to welcome in the new one.

Adios, 2009. As years go, you pretty much sucked. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

Hello, 2010. Boy am I glad to see you.

Here's wishing everyone better days in our brand New Year. Cheers.